Stop feeling bad about feeling
For most of my life, I have always been told that I overreact, am too sensitive, and cry way too easily watching movies. The last point is most definitely true. But for a while, I thought that my feelings I experienced were always something I should be ashamed of. Why must I get so emotional whenever someone says something bad about me? Why do I care so much? Whenever I got in an argument with my parents, I had to fight back my tears (unsuccessfully) two minutes into the conversation. Throughout my life I have noticed people dismiss my feelings because I felt them too often. I saw my own feelings as a weakness, and I tried to hide it as much as I could.
But the age-old lesson to that story is: hiding your true self never works out the way you envision. After a while, I started questioning why it was such a faux pas to express emotion. These days, we can shamelessly attack people on social media and still question why they feel hurt. We idolize those that give off “bad bitch” energy, those who don’t seem vulnerable and give off an IDGAF attitude. People are only viewed as strong and resilient only once they have worked through their problems; during, they must be hidden and away from view. We prioritize a positive attitude towards everything, and feeling upset or grief is something that must be moved on from. It is this cultural mentality thought we must be untouchable by “negative” emotion that we deny ourselves the right to feel, to be upset, to go through these emotions.
This is not to say that in all situations I have the right to overreact or act like a baby because I didn’t get something I wanted. But too many times I’ve been labeled as lesser than because I needed time to be sad, to cry, to grieve. I realized that those who ask me why I’m so sensitive have never bothered to ask what was actually making me feel upset. When will we realize that being sad is part of human nature? Just as we chase those moments of happiness, we also must accept our moments of sadness; to the deny that is to deny a core part of how we process our world.
“Sadness is also a superpower.”
We all have different ways of responding to situations. But the next time someone hurts you, and you feel upset, lean in to those feelings. This doesn’t mean create a 10-step revenge plan or go punching someone in the face (unless completely necessary…). It means feel what you feel, cry it out, be sad - and then after you have had time to reflect on how exactly this situation has affected you and what you wish to be rehabilitated, then you can move forward. If, in that process, someone tells you that you are being “overdramatic” or along those lines, either tune them out or respectfully tell them to shut the f*** up. Most of the times they are saying that because they are ashamed of holding the responsibility of making you upset or because they believe sadness is a weakness. For your own peace, learn how you respond to upsetting situations and become confident in your sadness. Sadness is also a superpower.
